Day 1: I Hanoi idea wtf is going

I never manage to sleep the night before a holiday abroad which was lucky this time around because I had so much stuff left to sort out, most of which were things I could have done weeks go.

My flight to Hanoi was leaving Heathrow at 11am which meant leaving my house at 6am. At least because the train wasn't a viable option at that time on a Sunday morning Aaron had offered to drive me there. It was a lovely drive accompanied by The Prodigy and Radiohead and Aaron's car's amazing sub woofer of a left speaker,

My bag was over the 7kg limit for carry-ons by 1.5kg but the woman at the desk didn't care. Happy days. The flight was ok, spare seat next to me but a child in the row behind me which prompted me to write this limerick

On flights I can just never win.
A noisy kid getting under my skin.
But when his mum went to pee,
she failed to see me
lock her son in the overhead bin.

They gave us some paper flip flops which almost balanced out the fact that I couldn't sleep because every time I'd drift off the kid would just randomly shout something. The food was adequate.

We arrived in Hanoi at 5am and it was still dark. There was a weird army looking dude staring at me as I walked through customs. Perhaps he was thinking if I'm guilty of something then I'm going to panic. I didn't I wasn't. I'd had a bit of a read about transportation to the city but hadn't properly figured it out. After speaking to a lady at an information desk who tried to get me to take the most expensive option (I have no idea why,,,) I settled on booking a Grab (Asian Uber, Uberasian) and the driver messaged me a few times to check where I was so I was feeling confident. Then a car pulled up and the guy beckoned me in, I showed him phone and asked if it was him, he said yes, so I got in and off we went. It didn't take me long to realise I'd made a mistake because after a minute or so he asked me where we were going. I think the beginning of the number plate was the same but I'd been too half asleep to properly check it. Needless to say I was now stuck with this guy and I knew he was going to charge me at least double what the Grab would have cost. He even got me on the phone to who I assume was his boss who spoke slightly better English and confirmed where I was going. He said he wasn't even going to take me exactly where I needed to go and would drop me off at the lake because he knew where that was (10 minutes walk from the hostel, yeah cheers mate) When we got there he asked for $30 (the Grab would have cost about $7/8, no chance mate) I offered him $20, he asked for $25, I gave him $20 and got out of the car.

It was bloody hot for 7am. 32C I think. I hadn't actually booked the hostel but I'd narrowed it down to a few. I walked to my first choice hostel and had a quick look around. They only had a 10 bed dorm available, I said that many beds would be superfluous to my sleeping requirements but I don't think she understood. There was another hostel round the corner so I thought I'd check that one out before deciding. The atmosphere and layout of the first one seemed better so I went back and checked in... although I technically couldn't check in for another 7 hours. They said I could hang around in the lobby, bar or the TV room where they had some cushions to sleep on. So I went up to the roof and nabbed the WiFi password from someone up there and proceeded to die in the heat... but at least I could now access Facebook (Thank the maker! No, not Zuck) I ended up going to sleep in the TV room for about an hour but then they kicked us out for a staff meeting so I just sat in the bar for a bit. I chatted to a couple of people, Carlos (40) from El Salvador who was trying to sort a visa and Conrad (21) from London who was planning a motorbike ride in the north of Vietnam.


I got a bit bored so went for a little walk to get some cash. A ten minute walk took at least thirty minutes due to how long it can take to cross the road. There are basically no traffic rules in Hanoi, even red lights seem optional with some motorbikes simply mounting the pavement to avoid the traffic. By the time I got back to the hostel I was allowed to check in so I did that and then chilled in the room for a little bit. I decided on a vegan cafe near the hostel for dinner and I had the vegan pho which was delicious. I listened in to some people chatting about tourist stuff to get some ideas of what to do in Hanoi.

I was feeling exhausted so I went back to have a nap at the hostel but then a group of young people arrived. They said they were going downstairs for the quiz so I obviously joined them. It was at that point there was a power cut so I just sat down on the nearest chair and joined a stranger's team by default. The people I joined were an American couple, Madison and Kevin, we had a little chat while waiting for the power to come back on and then Conrad joined us. He's a very talkative chap so I just let him take over the conversation. I suggested a few quiz team names from my extensive collection (the non-filthy ones) and we settled on Quizness Time. It was a bit of a shambles of a quiz really, having to be the first to put your hand up to answer the question. Needless to say I knew most of the answers and we got to have a shot (I'm not sure of what) after every question. The final question was worth a ton of points making the whole quiz pointless but I got that one correct to so we won. The prize was 400,000 Vietnamese Dong which we used to buy beer.

Madison and Kevin went out for food so I hung out drinking beer with Conrad. We were joined by left wing Rob from Oldham who proceeded to talk politics with Conservative Conrad. To be honest I thought it was going to come to blows at one point so I tried to join in and mediate a little bit. They calmed down a bit and we had a few drinks together. Rob was doing giant laughing gas balloons, I did not partake. Conrad went to bed just as Madison and Kevin got back so I joined them for a final beer and a good chat about life.

Back up in my room it somehow ended up that everyone was in the bathroom brushing their teeth at the same time. A lovely end to a knackering but enjoyable day,